Hey Guys…….guess what? ….yea yea you guessed right,…I’M BACK. How have y’all been? I know I know (face down) Some of you are angry at me…please forgive me. If you want me to explain I can actually mail you my explanation ooh. All the same, PLEASE FORGIVE ME……It was after I got series of messages both personal and public that I checked my blog calendar and realized that I hadn’t posted anything since one month plus…..I know right (now even some of you that didn’t notice are like haaaaa!!! Tenderoni, how could you and you say you love us, hmmmm) Please, don’t crucify me. I promise not to stay away for this long.
However,…I had a lot of entertainment and insight from most of my blogger friends…you guys are amazing, shout out to Dr N, Frances, Lizzie, Glowing Scene,…ahhh Femmetotale, Ujesta, Dare and yes, Crazy Nigerian, Livelytwist (the writer herself)…ooh how can I forget my mummy, Naija mum…una too much. Y’all kept my busy days very relaxing. Thank you so much, your gift is indeed evident and I’m blessed by you.
Also, thank you to those of you who kept visiting to see if I have posted on the blog yet. You made me smile and cry at the same time(as I wasn’t able to satisfy your thirst). I love you guys.
Story Story,….Story……….Once Upon a time,…..time…time.
Emily is the name of my new friend. She’s beautiful, the kind that you don’t need to sound modest about when you see. I had just met her a few months ago and so we decided to spend some time together since we both live in different cities. The holidays came close, so It was only normal and about time we met. It was whole week break, both our universities happened to have our holiday on the same days, so we planned her trip. My city had more to offer in terms of fun places and since I live alone, she had to come over…..Thank God she didn’t live too far, she got here on time and I was so excited to see her.
The first day we had a beautiful night, you know how we ladies can be,..gist upon gist,. girl talk, everything gistable was on the table of our gist plate. We had fun, got to know each other better and we literally slept off with our mouth open as we had talked and talked till our mouths got tired.
Before you start to imagine tins, I and Emily really gelled, and every day went beautiful as we visited different fun places. It was such a breath of fresh air to have her around, especially as she shared my passions.
Here’s where things got funny (now don’t think we fought ooh, all you people expecting the story not to end well, your plan will not work….lol)
I noticed that Emily had this very arguable low self-esteem, it wasn’t the kind that you would notice easily, you might not even call it low self-esteem, maybe I should say the wrong kind of humility.
Let me give you an example of how some of my conversations with her went.
Now here’s both of us dressing up for service and we get talking:
Me: Wow, gurl I love this your dress ooh,…it fits so perfectly on you. I would love mine in the color orange. I really love the way it looks on you. (mind you, I wasn’t flattering, I meant it)
Emily: Ohl really, I don’t see what you’re seeing ooh,..the gown is just there,…I even got it in one cheap shop like that. I’m surprised you like it on me ooh, you know you are the one with the sexy body now, abeggiii stop flattering me ooh.
Me: I’m serious dear, I love the way it looks on you and thanks for your compliment, I love your body shape as well, you’re beautiful and you know it…..go girl
Emily: Wow, sweetie, this your dress is awesome, I love it,..you’re so pretty. You’ll take me to where you shop ooh. This dress is lovely.
Me: Awwww thank you love,..I actually got this at a second-hand shop too, but it hadn’t been worn before. I know right, the dress fits me as I like it, that’s because I had to take it to the seamstress to do some fittings on it. Thanks.
Emily: Wow, that’s nice…..You really have beautiful things ooh…..I love them and your body just fits in them perfectly. Maybe you should take me to where you shop for real, at least let me get a few things before I head back.
So we go out to shop one day, and to cut the story short, Emily comes back empty-handed, no, not because she didn’t have the money to pay. Because, she didn’t find anything that fits her or that appeals to her. Are you shocked, no don’t be. We went through several shops, several pieces and she kept giving an excuse why that beautiful dress wouldn’t look beautiful on her. One of her many reasons was that it was gonna expose her ugly legs (Yes, she said “my Ugly legs”). But surprisingly, when it got to my turn to try on clothes, she advised me to pick them, saying they looked perfect on me. If I didn’t know better, I would have said she wanted me to spend money while she watched but I know better. She was so insecure about herself that everyone else apart from her was perfect. So much so, that she almost didn’t see anything good about herself physically. She complained about almost everything. Her weight, her skin, her buttocks,etc .
So, there was this day when she offered me a compliment and here was my response.
Me: Emily, you offer me this beautiful compliments each time and I always love them, they make me smile. However, I don’t think that you mean them. Sometimes I wonder if it’s the same eyes with which you see others that you use in seeing yourself.
Emily: How do you mean dear?..she quietly asked me
Me: Have you ever wondered how come you seem to see everything beautiful about people, but each time others compliment you, you seem to always have something negative to counter it with? I don’t think that my things as you say are as beautiful as you say they are, because if you can’t see by yourself how beautiful you and your own things are, how can you see for someone else? Those are my concerns.
Emily: Ooh dear,…..they truly are beautiful as I have said, it’s just that I don’t always feel as beautiful as the way people say I am. I know it’s a problem and I’ll definitely try to change. I’ve been trying to but I just don’t know how.
Me: I’m glad you now see it in this light. We’ll talk about how you can overcome this low self-esteem tonight, there are some practical steps that must be taken my dear, don’t worry we’ll do this together, ok. I love you dear, *hugs*
Emily: Thank you dear, thank you for letting me know this. I love you too sweetie *hugs*
So that’s in summary how my conversation with Emily ended on that day.
Some of you might be asking, why this story…..who cares to know what happened between you and your new friend Emily?…blah blah blah,..lol
Well, this story just reminds me about how so many people go through this on a daily basis. We can be so careful about acknowledging several beautiful things about us, things that God has graced us with, not just physically. Some of us do it because of low self-esteem while some others do it in the name of being Humble. However, it’s not like we plan to be this way. We just find ourselves in that position where we don’t want to sound like we are proud or like we have it all.
My Brother, My Sister,…please cheer up, loosen up, you too deserve to be praised, you too can be proud of your God-given gifts and talents. Is there something you’ve accomplished and you are being praised for it, don’t just act as though it’s a sin to think highly of yourself. You deserve to be celebrated and loved, so let out those smiles, say the “thank you’s” it’s that simple, do not complicate things by trying to explain how “it’s not all that” as we see it.
Even in this season of Love, we should learn to accept appreciation with humility as well as give out appreciation to the people around us. Lets learn to celebrate our selves and pat ourselves at the back for even those seemingly little accomplishments or endeavors that we succeed at. You can take an example from the Lizard, like the story we heard as kids, he nods his head after a successful fall from the tree, since no one will applaud him,…lol
Even God expects us to acknowledge every good work that’s in us, He says, that way the communication of our faith will be effectual (Philemon 1:6)
Also God is OK that we can think highly of ourselves, just not too highly of ourselves (Romans 12:3)
So take advantage of the love that you receive and celebrate others as you celebrate yourself. You are very valuable and you should be treated as such. Jesus paid for you with his blood, so square your shoulders, stand tall, walk straight, talk bold, for you are AWESOME.
I love you guys and I missed y’all so much.
Have a beautiful day.